What drives me?

How do I get into the situation, to not have time?

It happens as follows:

  • Scenario 1:
    I meet (one or more) people, that I find interesting, with whom I’m on the same wavelength, together we are thinking and discussing a bit about different topics, and before I know it, a new idea is born, which we want to realize together.
    This is fun, inspiring and I also earn money with it.
  • Scenario 2:
    Something annoys or inspires me, I develop an idea to change that or to create something new. I am looking for like-minded people, create a project, look for funding and realize the idea.
    This is fun, inspiring and I also earn money with it.
  • Scenario 3:
    I am so curious, the world is so big and colourful and I have always wanted to do this and that ……
    Then there is Scenario 1 or 2.
    This is fun, inspiring and I also earn money with it.

Suddenly, I have so much to do, and I do not have time for other things or time to rest.
The three scenarios are a very good explanation, but what drives me to this restlessness?
I’ll have a closer look using the models of the transactional analysis (TA).

A few definitions in advance:
Ego-state: the unity of thinking, feeling and behaviour
The TA distinguishes between three categories of the ego-state:
If these three ego-states are in equilibrium, meaning that the human being is able to react in a certain situation with all its ego-states according to reality, the world is in perfect order (to say it in a very simplified way).
But of course, it is not that easy. Human beings are not machines and therefore, they do not always react accordingly in a situation. They follow their drivers and their inculations. There is also a TA model for this concept, the model of drivers, which is, however, part of the life script model:

Decisions about our scripts are taken without thought in the early years of one’s life and we follow this unconscious life script so long as we start to consciously assess values, norms, morals and social rules adopted from our parents and consciously use them in the present.
I think, to some degree, it is clear what the model wants to explain. We carry a lot around in our heads from our childhood, and when it is getting dicey, we react the way we thought as good in our childhood.
As a child, I have often heard the following driving messages: “Hurry up, you don’t have all the time in the world!”, “Finish something until the end or don’t even start!”, “Work hard!”

All these drivers have a negative aspect, restricting the personality, and a positive, socially recognized, aspect:

  • Hurry up:
    To be at rest is worth nothing <-> quick, spontaneous, willing, always acting
  • ¬†Finish something until the end or don’t even start / be perfect:
    Never make a mistake, do not forget anything <-> efficient, competent, exact, determined, high-quality level
  • Work hard:
    Always attempt to constantly work hard <-> thorough, motivated to work, studious, hard-working

If one of these scenarios described above start, then my drivers also start. I want to do everything perfect, fast and really well. Which is, per se, not a bad thing. But I do constantly overcharge myself.
I cannot do everything perfect, fast and really well.
I know that, yes, but, if I do not follow my personal drivers, then I am recognized less, worth less. That, I have decided as a child
If I want to change my current situation, then I do have to weigh more between different activities, that means that I have to check all the things I do for cocoate and what I have to continue doing, considering the extent and priority.

Back to my scenarios. Fun, inspiration and money are the three motivators, which I follow in my work.
For the next step, I will look at exactly what has been accumulated over the years at cocoate.com and how much of all that is fun to me, inspires me and yields money.




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